Parents becoming Grandparents (10 Questions to ask)
You’ve decided you want to have a child and now you’re thinking about your parents role in their future. Many people have expectations and hopes of what grandparent support will look like after their baby is born. Some hope for the grandparents to be the secondary caregivers - the on-call babysitters, while others may be happy with an annual visit during the holidays.
No matter what end of the spectrum you are on, it can helpful to have an open conversation about hopes and expectations to nurture your relationship with them, to understand your parent’s expectations, and to create an opening to express your own needs. My hope is that once you start the conversation, there will be many iterations as you get closer to baby’s arrival. This may be the first time you and your parents have thought about these questions and, their opinions, like your own, will change over time.
10 Questions to ask your parents
What are your thoughts on being a grandparent?
What excites you about being a grandparent?
What are the expectations you have about the role of a grandparent?
How often do you hope to see your grandchild(ren)?
What are you open to supporting with?
This can be outside of child care: Would they be interested in helping with the house? Cooking? Grocery Shopping? Etc. Get granular — the more specific, the better.
How often are you open to supporting in childrearing/babysitting?
What is completely off the table in terms of support?
How will we handle conflict when we disagree about parenting?
How do you think our relationship might change when the baby comes?
What worries you about being a grandparent?
